Peter wrote: I think the "push-pull" tendencies many Fours display in relationships is purely "personality" not "personality DISORDER."

And the underlying question, I suppose, is determining when a tendency crosses the line from personality trait to pathology. As a 4w5 who was once diagnosed with BPD (at the same time that I was also diagnosed with major depression AND bipolar NOS, so I'm not sure how accurate *any* of those diagnoses were), I noted with particular interest the apparent similarities between the description of the Four and the DSM-IV criteria for diagnosing BPD:

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

(7) chronic feelings of emptiness

(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

(see www.behavenet.com/capsules/...inepd.htm)

Oh, I'm also a psych major, so I may be looking for connections where none exists. Now if I could only find a way to use all of this knowledge to find and maintain a fulfilling relationship...

Denise